Life Gives You Lemons


O Girl, O Beautiful, O Photoshopped Covers?
July 25, 2007, 6:00 pm
Filed under: odd random thoughts, rants, women

Reflecting again on the whole Jezebel/Faith Hill/Redbook thing yesterday got me thinking about…

Oprah.

Oprah on the cover of every single issue of O Magazine. Always looking pretty fine. Always. (I’m jes sayin.)

And then, I couldn’t help but notice, and love, O Girl, O Beautiful. The Revolution. Yeah! BRING it. It IS time for:

girls around the globe to realize how beautiful they really are… inside and out!

Only, you know what? I changed my mind. I’m NOT jes sayin’, I’m ASKING. POINT BLANK. Oprah, show us your before & afters.

Because, you have this big thing going on about girls’ self-esteem and self-love, and making the world a better place for them. And now I REALLY just want to know. Could you/would you on the cover? Are those images, or are they photos? Have you routinely been photoshopped within inches of your life? AND if you have in the past, would you take a stand against this and stop?

UPDATE: Penelope Trunk recalls seeing an issue of O Magazine “where [Oprah] devoted an issue of her magazine to talking about her befores and afters and showing them, and showing the process she goes through to look like that on the cover. She specifically did it because she said she didn’t want people to thinks he actually looks that good in real life.” There is a back issue of O Magazine where Oprah shows start-to finish what goes on to make the glamorous cover shots the public sees.

Anyone know which one and if it is online? We found these links at the O Magazine website, but they don’t give us much.

“Blowing Our Cover: Behind the Scenes of an O, Oprah Magazine Cover Shoot” ; “Behind the Cover”

In the meanwhile, we actually missed this somewhat related rant on Jezebel last week RE: Oprah in 1998 on Vogue cover

Frankly, I’m still concerned about the message it sends to women. Oprah has a tremendous opportunity here to change something in media for real and for the better… So why not?



Nasty rotting food Postscript
July 24, 2007, 3:24 pm
Filed under: heroes, odd random thoughts, recipes

Wherein we learn to read our Twitter @s and realize we’ve neglected our esteemed readers. Sorry!

Shouts out to @FoulBastard for: “Ew, keep the foul rotting meat away from me. I’ve had enough back in the day.”

and to Jeff Nolan (!!! THE Jeff Nolan — of Venture Chronicles — reads LGYL? OMG. Reader braincrush. Thanks Jeff, you’re another of our heroes!)

definitely any fish that has been “preserved”. The Scandinavians have a particularly foul example called lutfisk.

Ew, good point, preserved fish that only TASTES rotten! And he adds…

corked wine, damn shame and makes me cry every time. Guess that’s neither food nor rotting, but I just had to get that off my chest.

We could not agree more, Jeff, and if you’re ever in Boston that’s an excellent, and not corked, bottle of wine on us!



Coney Island, Thank you.
July 24, 2007, 2:56 pm
Filed under: heroes, news of the weird, parenting, random beauty, women

Who knew our debt to Coney Island?

This surreal back story on the origins of neonatology from Sweet|Salty:

Coney Island, he said. They had a display, a freak show, for lack of a better word. Perhaps one day a baby was born too soon and this experimentally-minded doctor said ‘Let’s see if we can keep this fetus alive outside the womb…’ and he managed it, and then again, and then they were all hooked, trying to get them to survive smaller and smaller, and nobody had ever seen such a thing. It was one of the most popular displays. 

We got off so easy. 34+ weeks. Healthy. Just 8 days’ NICU. Coney Island, I’ll never look at a corn dog the same way again.

Kate is another hero. My baby’s twin whispered silently, commonly, away just into the fetal period. She’s had the strength to meet, love, nurture and surrender her Liam, sharing his short life and radiant memoryspirit —

When the sun dapples through the trees they whisper we have him. They may be all the sum of osmosis and photosynthesis and veins and nutrients but to me altogether they are one voice that breathes, knows, keeps.

— with every one of us.



TV Timer: Faith in Redbook Edition
July 24, 2007, 2:16 pm
Filed under: Attention TV People!, news of the weird, rants

Ok friends, let’s review:

Monday, July 16th Jezebel Blows the cover on Redbook’s… cover

Tuesday, July 17th “The Blogosphere” picks it up and runs with it. Shout-out to this ABCNews blog for the first TV-related pickup. (Hmm, too bad ABC producers don’t even read your “own” blog?)

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday… All manner of stuff rots here at Life Gives You Lemons…

Monday, July 23rd Hey look, the TODAY show covering, well, LAST WEEK! (WTF?)

Previous TV Timer rants: Attention, TV Journalists! Delta, we have



Still Stealing from WhyMommy
July 24, 2007, 4:52 am
Filed under: women

Yes, it’s easier to steal than write. Guess I am just heartless like that.

Inflammatory Breast Cancer 

by whymommy

We hear a lot about breast cancer these days. One in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetimes, and there are millions living with it in the U.S. today alone. But did you know that there is more than one type of breast cancer?

I didn’t. I thought that breast cancer was all the same. I figured that if I did my monthly breast self-exams, and found no lump, I’d be fine.

Oops. It turns out that you don’t have to have a lump to have breast cancer. Six weeks ago, I went to my OB/GYN because my breast felt funny. It was red, hot, inflamed, and the skin looked…funny. But there was no lump, so I wasn’t worried. I should have been. After a round of antibiotics didn’t clear up the inflammation, my doctor sent me to a breast specialist and did a skin punch biopsy. That test showed that I have inflammatory breast cancer, a very aggressive cancer that can be deadly.

Inflammatory breast cancer is often misdiagnosed as mastitis because many doctors have never seen it before and consider it rare. “Rare” or not, there are over 100,000 women in the U.S. with this cancer right now; only half will survive five years. Please call your OB/GYN if you experience several of the following symptoms in your breast, or any unusual changes: redness, rapid increase in size of one breast, persistent itching of breast or nipple, thickening of breast tissue, stabbing pain, soreness, swelling under the arm, dimpling or ridging (for example, when you take your bra off, the bra marks stay – for a while), flattening or retracting of the nipple, or a texture that looks or feels like an orange (called peau d’orange). Ask if your GYN is familiar with inflammatory breast cancer, and tell her that you’re concerned and want to come in to rule it out.

There is more than one kind of breast cancer. Inflammatory breast cancer is the most aggressive form of breast cancer out there, and early detection is critical. It’s not usually detected by mammogram. It does not usually present with a lump. It may be overlooked with all of the changes that our breasts undergo during the years when we’re pregnant and/or nursing our little ones. It’s important not to miss this one.

Inflammatory breast cancer is detected by women and their doctors who notice a change in one of their breasts. If you notice a change, call your doctor today. Tell her about it. Tell her that you have a friend with this disease, and it’s trying to kill her. Now you know what I wish I had known before six weeks ago.

You don’t have to have a lump to have breast cancer.

teamwhymommy

P.S. Feel free to steal this post too.  I’d be happy for anyone in the blogosphere to take it and put it on their site, no questions asked.  Dress it up, dress it down, let it run around the place barefoot. I don’t care.  But I want the word to get out.  I don’t want another young mom — or old man — or anyone in between — to have to stare at this thing on their chest and wonder, is it mastitis?  Is it a rash?  Am I overreacting?  This cancer moves FAST, and early detection and treatment is critical for survival.

Thank you.



Effectol. Um, yeah.
July 23, 2007, 10:12 pm
Filed under: news of the weird

Seriously, someone PAID people to write, direct, edit and “act” in this commerical? For Massengil? Seriously? I would embed the video, but Jezebel already has.



This Post Stolen from WhyMommy
July 23, 2007, 3:23 am
Filed under: parenting, women

Thanks for the free post, WhyMommy.  Keep on rocking your fight against IBC.

Moms.  We love our kids.  We drive ourselves nuts taking care of them and helping them learn and grow.  We would do anything for them.  Right?

Of course.  So do them a favor and take care of yourself.  Do your monthly breast self-exam and report any changes to your OB/GYN.  ANY changes.  Even something that seems minor, like redness, soreness, thickening, itchiness, texture changes, dimpling, or a bug bite that just won’t heal.  These seemingly minor symptoms are also signs of the baddest breast cancer out there – inflammatory breast cancer – and need to be checked out right away.

So do it for yourself or do it for your kids.  But please, do your breast self-exam this month.  Even if you’re pregnant.  Even if you’re breastfeeding.  Even if you think you’re “too young for breast cancer.”  It could save your life.

TeamWhyMommy

[Team WhyMommy!  Heading off to BlogHer this week? Looking for something to fill the space while you’re on the plane to Chicago? “Steal” this post and put it up at your site while you’re gone, or let me know if you’d like me to send you a more detailed and informative post, and that’s one more post down before you go!  Oh, and have a GREAT time in Chicago!]



Nasty rotting food Friday
July 21, 2007, 3:59 am
Filed under: odd random thoughts, recipes

So how can rotting potatoes be worse than, well, these things?

Potatoes are harmless. Fried, baked, boiled, mashed, sauteed, stewed, roasted. Plain white paper. Canvas. Backdrop. A little starchy for your girlish figure, but nightmare-inducing?

They shrivel and grow shoots. You’ve seen that.
But they can also melt. Turn soupy anaerobic decay brown. Go undead.

Happened again recently. Smelled too foul to describe or even properly remember. Digging them out I retched uncontrollably. Retched as in falling down on the floor, amazed I didn’t pee myself, full-on, retching. Abs sore the next day retching. Veins in my head popping out and things thudding in there, retching. Took a while to breathe normally again.

Kinda got me thinking, “I’ve seen a lot of things rot…”



Nasty rotting food Thursday
July 20, 2007, 4:46 am
Filed under: news of the weird, odd random thoughts, random beauty, recipes

Tonight the gig’s up. You’ll know which is the foulest of eggs, tomatoes, carrots, ground turkey and potatoes.

I’ve really avoided sitting down to write this. But, it’s time for the ground turkey story.

We’d buy ground turkey in frozen 5 pound white plastic wrapped torpedoes. Thawed, the pink, pulpy mush wasn’t too bad in recipes. The tubes needed to thaw a few days in the refrigerator, but were otherwise pretty easy to use.

I should mention, the cook & engineer on a ship are bound to butt heads. Electricity, fresh water, refrigeration & cooking fuel are scarce. The engineer gets PO’d if, say, the cook blows the power system with a coffeepot, starts a grease fire, clogs the drain or stresses the delicate heating and cooling systems at her disposal. The cook’s never thrilled when stuff breaks, especially should the engineer not believe her. If the engineer was a fussy eater to boot, look out.

So this one engineer and I did. not. play. well. together. Irish guy, mid-40s. Nothing worked right that trip, and I blamed him. No meal was quite to his taste, and he pestered me for extras. Always at the moment I was exhausted and hiding behind the counter, having just birthed yet another sitting’s (there were 6 a day) worth of food. For 40. I managed to make crepes (for 40!) one time? He wanted lemon wedges and powdered sugar. Yeeeeah.

For all our mutual animosity, there was one night in St. George’s Bermuda, after a lot of Dark & Stormys, when he wanted to dance to a roaring Irish waltz. Nobody was up for the ‘old fashioned’ dance or the rapid pace. He conceded to ask me largely due to a new dress and cutoff cowboy boots. The band was great, and I wasn’t about to miss the chance. Laughter at the unlikely pairing snuffed out fast as we got going. I floated. I flew. I thrilled. We danced too fast and wild to remain upright, but somehow didn’t fall. I had no clue what I was doing and I didn’t have to. He danced for me. If waltzing always feels like that I’m a damn fool not to have dedicated my life to it.

Shortly after, the ground turkey exploded.

The refer had run warm for days. I thought the system was failing but couldn’t convince anyone. The engineer was in twice a day rolling his eyes and blaming the temps on overcrowding, warmth from leftovers, too much opening the lid and everything else but the basic problem that it was no longer cooling down.

Predictably, a tube of ground turkey set in there just to thaw quickly rotted, swelled, and popped its white plastic skin. I slid from surprise to horror to fury when I saw what had happened. The smell left little doubt what that gunk was. Greenish pink tufts of wet mush clung to everything. There was smelly pulp on every food item and surface inside the refer, even clogging the drain at the far end. I called in the engineer, demanded to know if he believed me now, and then threw everyone out of the galley.

No clue what we ate next or how. It felt like it took hours to unload, wipe down, sanitize and dispose of all the rotting meat. That the bulk of it could go overboard was a small blessing, but I was traumatized, mean, and thoroughly pissed.

It was pretty bad.

But, it was not THE nastiest rotting food experience I ever had…



Maybe I’ll reduce multitasking by only reading Jezebel
July 19, 2007, 9:44 pm
Filed under: odd random thoughts

Seriously, do I *really* need to read any other blogs anymore besides that guilty pleasure snarky treasure trove Jezebel? Multitasking, women, too much is too much!