<rant>I get a more than a little edgy over our sexpectations for women. Don’t get me wrong, sex is great. Sexy can be a lot of fun. But when it seems overwhelmingly that sexy = “hot women scantily clad” (oh boy, bring on the spiders) as opposed to sexy = “awesome things between pairs (or, whatever) of people,” that can just suck.
There are lines I draw in the sand. There are lots of things people find acceptable — or at least fail to question — that set me right off, especially when a woman’s sex appeal gets pulled into business and other inappropriate settings.
So without trying to parse “what is ok?” and “what isn’t?” in laborious detail, can we all watch this and just agree *something* is very very wrong?
Next time you laugh or leer at outrageously raunchy women in a very public setting, tell me — is this really how you want your daughter to look, feel and behave?
I’m all for bringing sexy back. I just think it’s way sexier when sexy is shared a little more evenly. </rant>
If you’re too lazy to click through to her brillarious post, Cliff’s notes follow:
Oprah on the cover of every single issue of O Magazine. Always looking pretty fine. Always. (I’m jes sayin.)
And then, I couldn’t help but notice, and love, O Girl, O Beautiful. The Revolution. Yeah! BRING it. It IS time for:
girls around the globe to realize how beautiful they really are… inside and out!
Only, you know what? I changed my mind. I’m NOT jes sayin’, I’m ASKING. POINT BLANK. Oprah, show us your before & afters.
Because, you have this big thing going on about girls’ self-esteem and self-love, and making the world a better place for them. And now I REALLY just want to know. Could you/would you on the cover? Are those images, or are they photos? Have you routinely been photoshopped within inches of your life? AND if you have in the past, would you take a stand against this and stop?
UPDATE: Penelope Trunk recalls seeing an issue of O Magazine “where [Oprah] devoted an issue of her magazine to talking about her befores and afters and showing them, and showing the process she goes through to look like that on the cover. She specifically did it because she said she didn’t want people to thinks he actually looks that good in real life.”
There is a back issue of O Magazine where Oprah shows start-to finish what goes on to make the glamorous cover shots the public sees. Anyone know which one and if it is online? We found these links at the O Magazine website, but they don’t give us much.
In the meanwhile, we actually missed this somewhat related rant on Jezebel last week RE: Oprah in 1998 on Vogue cover
Frankly, I’m still concerned about the message it sends to women. Oprah has a tremendous opportunity here to change something in media for real and for the better… So why not?
Who knew our debt to Coney Island?
Coney Island, he said. They had a display, a freak show, for lack of a better word. Perhaps one day a baby was born too soon and this experimentally-minded doctor said ‘Let’s see if we can keep this fetus alive outside the womb…’ and he managed it, and then again, and then they were all hooked, trying to get them to survive smaller and smaller, and nobody had ever seen such a thing. It was one of the most popular displays.
We got off so easy. 34+ weeks. Healthy. Just 8 days’ NICU. Coney Island, I’ll never look at a corn dog the same way again.
Kate is another hero. My baby’s twin whispered silently, commonly, away just into the fetal period. She’s had the strength to meet, love, nurture and surrender her Liam, sharing his short life and radiant memoryspirit —
When the sun dapples through the trees they whisper we have him. They may be all the sum of osmosis and photosynthesis and veins and nutrients but to me altogether they are one voice that breathes, knows, keeps.
— with every one of us.
Filed under: women
Yes, it’s easier to steal than write. Guess I am just heartless like that.
We hear a lot about breast cancer these days. One in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetimes, and there are millions living with it in the U.S. today alone. But did you know that there is more than one type of breast cancer?
I didn’t. I thought that breast cancer was all the same. I figured that if I did my monthly breast self-exams, and found no lump, I’d be fine.
Oops. It turns out that you don’t have to have a lump to have breast cancer. Six weeks ago, I went to my OB/GYN because my breast felt funny. It was red, hot, inflamed, and the skin looked…funny. But there was no lump, so I wasn’t worried. I should have been. After a round of antibiotics didn’t clear up the inflammation, my doctor sent me to a breast specialist and did a skin punch biopsy. That test showed that I have inflammatory breast cancer, a very aggressive cancer that can be deadly.
Inflammatory breast cancer is often misdiagnosed as mastitis because many doctors have never seen it before and consider it rare. “Rare” or not, there are over 100,000 women in the U.S. with this cancer right now; only half will survive five years. Please call your OB/GYN if you experience several of the following symptoms in your breast, or any unusual changes: redness, rapid increase in size of one breast, persistent itching of breast or nipple, thickening of breast tissue, stabbing pain, soreness, swelling under the arm, dimpling or ridging (for example, when you take your bra off, the bra marks stay – for a while), flattening or retracting of the nipple, or a texture that looks or feels like an orange (called peau d’orange). Ask if your GYN is familiar with inflammatory breast cancer, and tell her that you’re concerned and want to come in to rule it out.
There is more than one kind of breast cancer. Inflammatory breast cancer is the most aggressive form of breast cancer out there, and early detection is critical. It’s not usually detected by mammogram. It does not usually present with a lump. It may be overlooked with all of the changes that our breasts undergo during the years when we’re pregnant and/or nursing our little ones. It’s important not to miss this one.
Inflammatory breast cancer is detected by women and their doctors who notice a change in one of their breasts. If you notice a change, call your doctor today. Tell her about it. Tell her that you have a friend with this disease, and it’s trying to kill her. Now you know what I wish I had known before six weeks ago.
You don’t have to have a lump to have breast cancer.
P.S. Feel free to steal this post too. I’d be happy for anyone in the blogosphere to take it and put it on their site, no questions asked. Dress it up, dress it down, let it run around the place barefoot. I don’t care. But I want the word to get out. I don’t want another young mom — or old man — or anyone in between — to have to stare at this thing on their chest and wonder, is it mastitis? Is it a rash? Am I overreacting? This cancer moves FAST, and early detection and treatment is critical for survival.
Thanks for the free post, WhyMommy. Keep on rocking your fight against IBC.
Moms. We love our kids. We drive ourselves nuts taking care of them and helping them learn and grow. We would do anything for them. Right?
Of course. So do them a favor and take care of yourself. Do your monthly breast self-exam and report any changes to your OB/GYN. ANY changes. Even something that seems minor, like redness, soreness, thickening, itchiness, texture changes, dimpling, or a bug bite that just won’t heal. These seemingly minor symptoms are also signs of the baddest breast cancer out there – inflammatory breast cancer – and need to be checked out right away.
So do it for yourself or do it for your kids. But please, do your breast self-exam this month. Even if you’re pregnant. Even if you’re breastfeeding. Even if you think you’re “too young for breast cancer.” It could save your life.
[Team WhyMommy! Heading off to BlogHer this week? Looking for something to fill the space while you’re on the plane to Chicago? “Steal” this post and put it up at your site while you’re gone, or let me know if you’d like me to send you a more detailed and informative post, and that’s one more post down before you go! Oh, and have a GREAT time in Chicago!]